Some of the Wealthiest People I Know Are Drunks.

This is just too funny. Penn State has come up with a half-assed measure to deal with its national recognition as a party school; it has banded alcohol consumption at tailgate parties during the game. It's fine to get drunk before the game. It's fine to get drunk after the game. However, you will no longer be able to get drunk during the game. Here is how Tim Curley Penn State athletic director explained the new rule.

"Tailgating before and after football games has evolved into one of college football's most recognized, most treasured traditions that bring family, friends, alumni and colleagues together for good times and good memories," said Tim Curley, Penn State athletic director. "Penn State is pleased and proud to be recognized annually as one of the nation's finest hosts to this tradition, largely because Penn Staters know how to celebrate responsibly and respectfully."

"With increasing frequency, however, a number of fans are coming to the tailgate areas with no intention of attending the football game. They have no interest in supporting the team inside the stadium and are simply utilizing the parking lot areas for group parties," Curley said. "This has diminished what the great majority of Nittany Lion tailgaters value about the best atmosphere in college football."

"We fully expect that our fans will continue to uphold the national reputation that Penn Staters enjoy by continuing to tailgate responsibly before and after every game, while cheering the Nittany Lions on to victory inside Beaver Stadium."

What's with the "finest hosts" nonsense? Can't anyone in central administration at Penn State open their mouth without making an empty boasts?

As far as the new policy goes, I am having trouble making sense of it. Is Curley suggesting that only those who come to tailgates during the game over consume alcohol? Is he saying that the privilege of getting drunk on Penn State property should only go to those who support the team? Or, perhaps he is simply hoping that that the University can appear to be doing something about that "national reputation which Penn Staters enjoy" without pissing off wealthy donors or potential donors? I would have to go with door #3 on this one.